We travel because we need to, because distance and difference are the secret tonic to creativity. When we get home, home is still the same, but something in our minds has changed. And that changes everything.
When I came home about one month ago nothing was like I expected it would be. I had no money, no job and couldn’t even go back to university because I had already been exmatriculated. So there I was – back home and back to reality. The free, creative and open-hearted spirit I became during my time in Bali had to deal with a reality that didn’t really fit.
This is one of the reasons why it took me that long to complete this post because I had to order the things in my head and those around me. When I met someone (who is still a very important person to me), I decided to continue writing. When I met him I realized how much my life had changed. How much I had changed. Hoch much simply everything had changed. It reminded me of how good I felt on Bali every time when I was writing. It helped me to figure out who I am and supported me to be true to myself. In this post I am going to write about my last 2 weeks in Bali, how I felt when I came home and of course I also want to share some new pictures with you.
I still remember how I started my last two weeks in Bali. On the one hand I have been so excited to come home, on the other hand I was afraid my time in Bali would come to an end too fast. „Most people are on vacation for like 7 days and 14 days are often very long. So you have 14 days left and that’s a lot“, I told myself all the time. Luckily I finally made it and left my comfortzone Seminyak in my 7th week on the island. I haven’t been alone, I travelled with Gretchen from Nicaragua who has no winter clothes because of the fact that her hometown is always sunny and warm and when she travels she is mostly in countries where the whether is sunny too. How cool is that? I am sorry but I had to tell you that because it really fascinated me. What a dream to have the sun around you 365 days a year. So we decided to go to Canggu and booked a cool surfhostel there. Later it turned out that the hostel wasn’t that cool.
As we arrived there, we decided to hang out and spend some time in the pool which was in the middle of a beautiful garden. I still remember how beautiful this simple moment was, because I really love to swim in the summernights. The water was warmed by the sun so it has been warmer than the air outside, it was simply quiet everywhere around and everytime I looked into the sky I realized all the little stars above us. When I had these moments on my journey I realised on what a great adventure I am. How unbelievable everything is that I am experiencing right now and that this time will also come to an end one day. I reminded myself to enjoy the present, to live the present moment to its fullest.
When I decided to take a shower after that, the electricity stopped working that moment when my hair was full of shampoo, there came no water anymore and the shower was outside in the dark. So I didn’t see anything and I have been a little bit scared too because it was really really dark that moment. Nothing happened so that I decided to wash out the shampoo with the few ice cold drops that came out of the shower. I felt really bad. I didn’t know something even worse was going to happen. When I came back to the room it took 20 minutes more until the elextricity started working again but that didn’t help me very much because the lamp next to my bed was broken. When I decided to sleep I used the light of my phone to fix my blanket. You won’t believe me what I had seen then. A lot of ticks were grabbling in my bed. First I couldn’t believe what I was seeing there but the moment I realised it I thought about all options I had – to just start crying, to change the hostel in the middle of the night or to ignore the situation. I have been too tired to do anything so I decided to put as much ticks as possible out of my bed and to hopefully fall asleep very soon.
The next morning Gretchen told me that she also had the ticks in her bed and she had already put her matress outside and informed the owner about what happened. We decided to change the hostel the same day. About two hours later we checked in to the „Hide Hostel“ which was really really hidden. I have to laugh directly when I am just thinking of our scooter drives from the hostel to the street. Along a very dark road with many many holes we tried not to crash into anything. But it was much fun as well. I should really buy myself a scooter to drive around in my hometown haha. The hostel wasn’t well visited and from 11pm to the morning hours there were no stuff so we were there completely alone some nights but I have to say it was totally worth it. The beds were so comfy so that it felt like heaven to sleep in there.
After two or three nights Gretchen left to another hostel and Sabrina who is from Germany too (I met her in Seminyak in a hostel before) came to Canggu. As every time on my journey when I met someone new, a new wonderful time was going to start. (couldn’t we compare that to our lives? – every ending is a new beginning, isn’t it?). Sabrina is one of the most clumsy person I know, but also one of the sweetest. During the two weeks we spent together we became really good friends and we still send us messages daily. While I spent most of my time in Bali with finding myself and discovering my universe I really enjoyed my time during the last two weeks. We spent our time eating, hanging out on the beach and on parties as well. It became something like a party holiday even though I would have never planned that but I was in Bali and I had to discover and experience every way of life there. That’s how I am. That’s who I am. And it shows I am just human but even though it was fun I still prefer another way of life. The healthy structured life.
One morning it wasn’t that quiet in our room like it used to be the days before. So we know we weren’t alone anymore. What a coincidence that the both guys Martin & Vincent came from the same federal state like me. After we all got to know each other a little bit we decided to go partying together that night. This was the beginning of a very funny time. It seemed as we have known each other for a long time. We were the craziest people in every club and also the loudest people in the hostel. It was a very funny time and I am thankful for each day. Even those when we did nothing but eating 4 times a day.
In Canggu everything is very spacious so that you really need a scooter to get somewhere. So Sabrina and I had a very long ride every morning to get smoothie bowls or avocado toast but that was fun because the way to our breakfast felt like a big adventure. I am still in love with all these small and beautiful designed shops and cafés in Bali and especially in Canggu. I hope there will be some like these in Germany one day. I hope, I hope, I hope.
When my journey came to an end I became nervous. There were such many things I haven’t done yet. That was what I thought. One of these things had been, that I wanted to go to Uluwatu, a beach town in the south of Bali. Then I would have seen every place I planned to see. On one day we luckily drove to Uluwatu by scooter, visited a temple, a beautiful beach and took a lot of great pictures. When I was in bed that day and looked through the great pictures we took I became aware of how true the quote is, that the great things happen out of your comfort zone. I am always telling myself that everything that doesn’t need effort would make me happy. That day I realized that I lied to myself for a long time. I have to get my ass up and that is what makes me happy, nothing else. This was a very beautiful knowledge and a great way to end my journey.
I spent the last days in the city to buy some stuff for my beloved ones at home, I packed my backpack several times. It might have been around 17 times haha. I also tried getting as tanned as possible and to save some energy by the sun because I knew there wouldn’t be much sun when I would be home what makes me sad always because I am definitely a summer child. With that opinion or feeling I am not alone I guess. On the 13th November my journey came to an end and I have been on my way back home. It took two days until I finally arrived there. Happily I have been able to sleep a lot during the time at the airports and during the flights. When I arrived in Düsseldorf, my backpack wasn’t there but I seriously didn’t care about that because I just wanted to finally hug my family. And luckily they brought my backpack to my house two days after.
Back at home the time ran away. And yes, it’s pretty easy to write about your feelings and experiences when you are about 15.000km away from home and you don’t have to justify yourself to anybody. When I came back home I had to realize really soon that I would have to find a way to combine my need to become a free spirited happy soul with a life full of expectations. At that point I have to thank my parents who still kick my ass when I need it.
Before I left home to come to Bali I stopped studying english language and philosophy. At that time I thought I would not be able to study english and to be able to teach it one day. When I went to university I have always thought of a backpacking adventure. To leave my town – this dream had been so deep inside of me for years that I wasn’t be able to find the power for anything else. So I decided to stop my studies for one year so that I would start a year after with philosphy and german instead of english language. Therefore I finally had the time to realize my dream. When I was in Bali and the journey came to an end, I felt anxiety in my soul. I had no plans for the future, missed my friends in university and I felt really lost like everybody belongs to something somehow except of me.
I also knew I couldn’t go back to university and I had to find something to do for the upcoming year because I exmatriculated already. So I fell into a bad mood. Day after day I woke up and tried to remind me of how wonderful everyday in Bali felt like. The positive energy around the daily life there. Over the past years I developed a life without pain and failure but also without highly happines because I am always trying to avoid every effort by being stucked in my comfort zone. One day I realized that I have been lying to myself for a long time so that I decided to get back to university to my old studies, whatever it might take. Surprised about my own power and energy I had success and they told me I could start my old studies again. This is another reason why I haven’t wrote this post until yet because I have to do a lot for university now. Nevertheless I want to continue to write about the things that inspire me, the things I experience in my life. Especially my philosophy studies always make me questioning many many things. My head is full of ideas which I want to share with the world. with you.
I cannot find the words to explain how grateful I am. I am grateful, that I had the chance to experience this wonderful journey. Thanks to my family who made it possible for me to make a start on this journey. Thanks to my friends who supported me since the first days and during my whole two months there. Thanks to the people who sent me all these beautiful messages via Instagram and Facebook during my journey. I would have never thought of that. Thanks to the beautiful human who let me go, so that I was able to follow my dreams. And also thanks to the people I met along the way. When I came to Bali I had a lot of questions in my head and these people gave me answers without even knowing it. Thank you, thank you, thank you. ♥